Texas etiquette guide for newcomers

Southern hospitality reigns in all her glory in the state of Texas.
Although perhaps ‘etiquette’ isn’t the first word to enter your consciousness when the state of Texas is mentioned, it certainly plays a large role in Texan culture. Much of the social atmosphere of Texas revolves around the preservation of ‘southern hospitality,’ which entails effusive, friendly interaction with all the people you encounter during the course of a day, including perhaps those with whom you have little in common. This pervasive acceptance and accommodation is essentially the root of Texas etiquette, and all mannerisms and social customs stem directly from it.

Although Texas’s history is relatively brief in comparison to, among others, the Mexican culture thriving just south of its border, much of Texan etiquette remains relatively historically based. For example, the tipping of the hat to a lady whenever she is met echoes similar treatment of women back in the era of the cowboy, presumably when such a hat was more prevalently worn. Though only a minority of men still acknowledges the presence of women in this way, the standard gesture involves the pointer and the middle finger, pressed to the front brim of the hat until it lifts slightly off the head of its wearer.


A similar relic of cowboy etiquette is that no Texan makes fun of another Texan’s hat, no matter how ridiculous it looks or how worn it has become. Presumably, cowboys didn’t make enough money when they were just beginning their work to afford new hats whenever they needed them, and so mutual respect between such cowboys extended to the condition of their hats.

In Texas, as in much of the southern United States, it is considered polite for a child to say “Ma’am” and “Sir” to his elders, although the age when this can discontinue remains somewhat ambiguous. The general rule is that if you think perhaps “ma’am” should be said, it would be more offensive to leave it out than to include it in a situation when it proves unnecessary. Generally, if an older person finds the title distasteful, they will express their wish to be called something else after the first time they are called “ma’am,” and they rarely take offense at having been called so in the first place.

Furthermore, in conversation, most Texans consider it impolite to discuss business or financial matters before a certain comfort level has been reached. For some outsiders, this introductory element to conversation feels slightly prolonged (drawing in the weather, family health, etc.), but hurrying to discuss finances is considered rude, particularly if this conversation is the first held between these two parties.

If you are visiting another Texan’s home, the custom is that you ask beforehand if you should bring anything. Usually, your question is just a formality; your host probably has everything planned already, from the meal to the music. However, be prepared to make something to contribute just in case.

Finally, the general saying is, “a lady is a lady unless proven otherwise,” which hints at a larger concept of acceptance and tolerance in the Texan culture often overlooked. The nature of Texan etiquette is such that everyone, native Texan or foreigner, is included in the friendliness of ‘southern hospitality’ unless he distinguishes himself as either not wanting to apply the rules of etiquette to himself or not particularly deserving them.